How to make salads not suck and leave lunch not hungry

My DNA might be part garbage disposal.

I have a reputation among friends for my ability to eat. This is one of the advantages to being on the taller side. Not fitting into some cars is a disadvantage.

I fancy a good salad (emphasis on “good”). And as the personification of the Sarlacc, I can say anecdotally that salads can be really filling.

Now, lest you think I’m recommending a salad only diet, here’s a thing I wrote 4 Healthy Things On The Menu That Aren't Fucking Salad

My point is that if you think salads can’t be filling, you’re doing salads wrong.

This begs the question:

How do I make my salad not suck?

Eat like brontosaur not a bunnysaur

A 5 ounce bowl of greens isn’t as much food as a 5 ounce bowl of tuna. Those leaves have lots of air in between them. If you removed all the air from the bowl of greens you’d have very little actual food. Per gram, greens are actually really filling. Fibrous, along with proteinous, foods are the most satiating things we can eat.

Greens have tons of fiber. They also have tons of air.

The solution? Eat salad out of a 5 gallon bucket from Home Depot. Yes, it’s a lot of food. That’s the point.

The interplay between satiety and caloric intake is important to form healthy sustainable habits. Healthy foods, like vegetables, tend to make us full in less calories than something like bacon or chocolate.

This is precisely why lean proteins and vegetables are where we want to get 80-90%ish of our calories if we’re looking to turn more heads come summer.

What about the other 10-20% of our calories? Bacon and/or chocolate.

The big takeaway here is that eating to fullness isn’t a bad thing. We want to feel satisfied after each meal, especially with something that’s mainly veggies and lean proteins. We want to fill up on all that stuff.

Put more stuff in your salad

The only reason salads are great for fat loss is because of all of the veggies. Throw whatever veggies you like in there.

There’s no reason to eat a giant bowl of nothing but spinach and dressing, unless you’re into that. I’d be miserable eating that too.

Make your salad hearty with whatever stuff you like: mushrooms, artichoke hearts, kidney and garbanzo beans come to mind. That’s just my preference.

Adding lots of lean protein to your salads is important too. If you don’t like greens that much, make the greens the opener rather than the headliner.

Chicken, steak, tuna-- I dunno dude. Whatever you’re into, throw that shit in.

The Caveat


Fats play an important role in making salads enjoyable and filling. There’s nothing wrong with sprinkling some bacon on your salad to make it tasty. That said, it’s easy to overdo it with fats. Fats have twice as many calories per gram as the other macronutrients (protein and carbs).

They digest a bit slower than carbs or protein. This means they help us stay satisfied for longer. While protein and veggies might help us fill up immediately, adding some fats to a meal means it will take longer for us to get hungry again. We don’t get hangry 2 hours before dinner.

Again, there’s no need to eat salads if you simply hate them. There’s no one size fits all way to lose fat. This is why we let the client decide how they want to adjust their habits in the Online Fat Loss Coaching Program. People are more successful when they eat healthy foods they like, not the ones they feel they MUST eat.

That said, salads can be awesome if you turn them into a legit, filling meal. That 5 leaf bullshit they give you at some places isn’t a salad, it’s an insult.

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Posted in Uncategorized, Fat Loss, Fitness, Diet, Nutrition on May 13, 2016